I think I should do alot of listening when we get back to talk again. And thats is the absolute best you can do. Especially if you have a SON!! im still giving him a 100 up till today. When i and my parents call him to come home(as our culture) he dont bother about him.. That was another thing to disappoint me more. Its Valentines Day , I been with my boyfriend for 6 months. Back as a baby, he said the vet said not to let her sleep or have that on for a while because she is a labradoodle and it makes their hair very knotty and bad for their skin. Ive mentioned his lack of effort and he did take it on bored but recently Im seeing a slip into his old ways. Writing can help you discover if youre expecting too much, or if your boyfriend stopped making an effort because your relationship doesnt mean much to him. My boyfriend of 7 years had lost interest over the past year, not wanting to see or spend time with me, 3 months now I havent seen him once. If your boyfriend never made an effort to begin with, then he may simply be lazy or indifferent to building and maintaining a relationship with you. He stopped foreplay. I love him so much but I cant help but question if his effort is a reflection of his interest. Hi Jessica, Sweetie this man is never going to love you the way you want him too.He may love you the only way he knows how and its not a healthy kind of love by your comments. Were both in high school now. I asked him to spend Memorial Day with me shocker he forgot and made other plans. I met other guys got into relationships but didnt work. And when I would send him flirty or intimate texts in the beginning of this whole thing, he would either not respond at all or sound uncomfortable in his response. Maybe he will brush his teeth at lunchtime but often he just smells like armpits and looks like a scruff and then wants to come to our clean bed that way. Idk I really love him hes the first person thats ever given my butterflies or made me actually feel anything, but I just feel like its all changed now maybe and Im not sure how to continue. 1. He said that Ive been making effort so can he. When I asked for a picture of his siblings and friends, he refused again saying they are private people and doesnt have to do with our relationship. He told me he loved me within weeks of us meeting. Rather, letting go is about loosening unhealthy attachments in current and past relationships. Especially when fighting. You need to rest your hopes, dreams and future on a love that never fails, a river that never runs dry. What he is doing and how he is treating you is disgusting. But nope as well. He feels sex is for marriage. I have been with my bf for 5 years. P.S. I found a way thomy school computer so yeah. He went out and bought 48 roses he surprised me with though out the day for Valentines day and took me out for a really nice dinner- he even planned having sexy time (which got postponed finishing). Its hard to deal with, but Im trying to just tolerate it until the coronavirus is over, in hopes that things will go back to normal. Texts are still slow. My boyfriend and me zoomed and emailed and he moved from job to job. And i just wish the fighting would stop, i seriously cant take. If this doesnt work for you if he disrespects, ignores, or even abuses you then you need to decide what to do. We still work on a project together so its not like I can just cut contact entirely, which I figured might be the reason why he is continuing to text, like he doesnt want things to get uncomfortable between us. Meet new people, and make quality friends who youd rather spend time with and make him feel that he is not the ONLY one you have, but a choice you have made to spend some time of your life with. Im dating this guy for 3 years now. When I do, its the absolute bare minimum or just a bunch of excuses. Although he did not tell me this beforehand, we have been trying to work on these issues and improve our relationship. The man is now in jail. doesn't pay attention to you, and they're not fully present when youre together. But by week three the little things stopped happening I chalked it up to me being less a guest in his home and more a comfortable companion. Oh my goodness. And so on. Then I come home to him sleeping in bed. I think its not enough to say I dont feel like Im a priority. He ignores you. But Ive just always felt like im not one of his priorities. I envisioned a life time ahead of feeling let down by this person. I have been with my boyfriend for one and a half years. But theres one time where I got really mad and told him what i feel about everything and he said he was sorry and he tell me how much he loves me. 1 Assess the situation. After that night i got my phone taken because my grades were awful (bc of home issues) so me and him didnt talk much but that did not stop me.I would sneak the phone and iPad all the time and talk to him still but then my mom found out about this boyfriend of mine (my sister is a snitch) and i told her that i liked him but i wasnt dating him. I dont expect a perfect relationship but I guess he does. Get emotionally and spiritually healthy. Im always the one asking him to do something, Im always planning my work schedules around his and swapping shifts etc I just feel like its so one sided sometimes. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, i love him and I know he loves me back but, my biggest insecurity is him changing and being lazy in the relationship, which I have noticed he has been doing lately. He said he was seeking for personal growth and happiness. I gave him the benefit of the doubt too many times. Is he telling me things just to shut me up or does he blurt things out impulsively. You dont deserve to be treated like nothing. Thats sad. WebiStock. Now he wont go anywhere with me he wont touch me in front of anyone we dont do anything and he refuses to do anything fun the only thing we do is work he dont go to the kids is events or anything but it is X need something hell drop everything And do it. He texts me that his out with his friends and hes drunk. Is he back with me to punish me or hes still holding back because of the break up and I just need to wait? My friends have been pulling their hair out trying to get him to help them plan my party and he ignores their texts. I feel like now hes doing things to purposely piss me off like not talk to me all day or say that Im always starting crap. Listen to your intuition, it never lies. Hes too shy to talk to you directly. Theres little to no effort. because that can be so self-fulfilling trust me). Something went down and he doesnt want to confess. They tell each other they make each other better people. If his texts arent super time-sensitive, then its okay to I absolutely abhor talking to anyone ever. When he just cuts me off or just blindly follows what his mum says which is most of the time unreasonable it just makes me feel like he doesnt care too much about me, like he isnt willing to fight for me. I DO ALL THE LAUNDRY, VACCUMING , DISHES ,MOPPING, ALL THE CLEANING. We used to go on dates once or twice a week. but thats what made me fall in love with him and now that i feel like the efforts arent made or not even made but not wanted, not driven, not desired as he felt before. He spoiled her before they had kids then stopped completely as the kids needed his resources. Now he is distant and asked for time and space. Been with my a few years. Same thing happened another day and another. His golden excuse is Im busy. I tried talking to him and he said I was being to needy. He is making zero effort for me. but he declined and even accused me as a selfish and demanding girlfriend. We getting in touch again at beginning of this year, 20 years after we know each other, he put effort in to win me at the beginning then went quiet, I was annoyed. He chatted me the day of valentines day 2019. The first 5 he was boyfriend of the year. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? Those arent just low relationship expectations, theyre unhealthy patterns of behavior. I dont know what to do and need some advice. We have a 12 year old daughter. Ive talked to him about it twice to no avail. HI CHRIS, MY BOYFRIEND ALSO DRINKS A LOT. Im not sure where you landed with your relationship, but I hope things are better for you. Never happened. He was telling me about his plan for tomorrow and I asked about when we are supposed to go out, he acted annoyed and commented I knew you would be worried about that really? But now that he has you he sees he doesnt have to try anymore. Letting Go of Someone You Loveis filled with comforting, practical ways to heal your heart. Its sad. Hi Beyza! The littlest things set him off, and me as well. He bought her a Mothers Day card. He was wearing them every day when he started his new job. However, I do know something that will help immensely. Hi My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and weve lived together for 3.5 of those years. He dresses professionally. m tired n dont know what to do anymore! Hes the opposite. Thats the only way you will know how he truly feels. 2 years ago, something was off in our relationship and he wasnt making effort with me, almost at all. My boyfriend is exactly the same and Ive been relating so much to what youve said in your post! Im 55, I decided I can not live another minute in an unstable relationship. I have been noticing that he is lacking some qualities that I need in a mate. I stayed, I settled for hearing that he loves me and cares about me but all the ugly and mean things said and done between those few comments of praise and validation, was the permission given to keep doing it. IT IS A VERY HUGE PROBLEM. When we first started dating I personally felt like he put so much effort into me and the relationship. My friend found someone perfect really quickly on Tinder 3 years ago, and they just got married in November. Why doesnt he show his love? You wouldnt be HERE if you thought your gut was wrong. i understand with everything going on it is hard, but that was an issue with my ex-husband after we had kids. He wanted to hang out everyday which at first I though was strange but I started to so after while it was weird for both of us to not be around each other every day. WebBut when you give so much attention and interest to a guy, but he just doesnt feel the same way, it can actually push him away from you. Not to mention, our second date was going to look at a puppy he was looking at after meeting my dog. I got furious.He did this pretty often in the past but I used to tell him how I didnt like his sudden occasions of disappearing without a word cause it makes me worried. Ask yourself what could be causing your boyfriend to pull away from you. HE DOESNT TAKE THE TRASH OUT ANYMORE. But then he started talking to me normally and we was fine for a couple weeks but its been 3 weeks now he just hasnt been putting effort in and leaves me on read and blancs my messages (on snapchat we have a streak and thats when he snaps me) & I texted him saying hiya and he left me on read I just dont know what to do anymore my friends have told me to end this but I really do love him what shall I do? I understand law school is a rigorous program but for some reason he has been unhappy and stressed about everything that is going on in his life. Then, youll have the wisdom and guidance you need. However, just before christmas time, the same things started to happen again, effort drops off. The lady was there, I was so angry, I wanted to punch her for lying tto me, but my guy was protecting her, he was even telling me to live his house, he humiliated me in front of her, he came last week to my place and tried explaining things, he even spent the night at my house, I feel so stupid, because he is not putting any effort to fix things between us, I feel so stupid for letting him spent the night in my house, why do I still love him even after he has clearly heart broken me, will I ever move from this nightmare? He just doesnt care. I didnt even realise I was expecting the bare minimum until it hit me while I was laying in bed after he hadnt messaged me all day because he was busy playing his game. We all deserve to be happy. my boyfriend doesnt want to spend time with me either but i dont trip i just stay at home i have no friends i do all i can for him and his children and he texts other girls send titts and pussy shots from his children mothers i rub his feet when he gets off work feed him so that he could save his money he even went on a trip without me but i keep his daughter while he was gone and all i ask is for him to spend a little time with me or even buy me a gift hell i would be happy with a trip to mcdonalds i know thats sad am totally not happy with this relationship. This person called me a name during a fight, even after I said that Im not here for that. Honestly he may need some space. Hi, you should not be with this person. We dont speak much Im very busy cleaning cooking dealing with kids and studying and in his opinion Im too busy and he feels like I have my own things going on when really, he could take a load of me. I realized he got into gaming with a girl for a long time. So my boyfriend and I will have been together for a year this november. You didnt like THAT answer, did you? He got a divorce just over two years ago and lately he has been having some family issues. For our year and a half anniversary I didnt have money at the time and we were fighting a lot but I made him a good luck bracelet and wrote him a very personal card. I love my boyfriend, but just cant get the feeling that he feels the same. Distant and asked for time and space time ahead of feeling let down this. That will help immensely he disrespects, ignores, or even abuses then... 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